Coming to terms with my predicament

 When I was hit with the news on the loss of my twin boys, there was a feeling of numbness. I just couldn't believe that something of such could EVER happen to me. I mean how can my boys just die after less than a week I was told they were doing just fine. It was unbelievable!! I did all I was asked to do, was so intentional about having healthy and happy kids even before I took in. Hmmm.. the feeling of a loss hits harder when you know you did your best!! I was just numb the whole time, even after giving birth to them. I hoped that somehow after I pushed them out, they'll just cry and it will be like a mistake or a miracle. I just hadn't come to terms with my predicament and even up till now, It's really hard to accept I lost my babies. People say don't dwell on it, just try to move on, hmmm, I wish it was so easy. People try to give worse sceneries but fail to understand that a loss is a loss no matter how intense one might be than another. I'm not saying to kill yourself over something you can't change but people grieve in different ways and it's okay for that feeling of loss to overwhelm you at different times. Allow people get over their predicaments at their time and pace, don't say 'you should have gotten over this by now, that's so insensitive. Sometimes all grieving people need is time and an understanding ear.