What God told me!!

 On my journey to recovery, I found solace in the word of God. At first, I resented my faith in God but I came to realize that I was nothing and even more helpless without him. At first, I became more resentful, angrier, depressed and all (check my husband's reaction; words that consoled me). Nothing seemed to console me. Time passed on, and then one night when I was in the mood, I had an honest conversation with God and I felt  a peace that I never had before. That was when I knew God listened to me. I know for sure that before God talks to a downcast heart, he puts some peace in us if only we allow him so that there can be an effective communication. You can't hear him well in a chaotic mind. It has to be still. So the words I heard from Him was that he was going to give us something better! Before I knew my babies were dead, that Saturday night, I stumbled unto my husband's jotter that I might not open on a normal day. The first thing I saw was 'if God can take away something you never expected to lose, what makes you think he won't replace it with something you never expected to have' and I thought about what I never expected to lose, I just casually figured it was dad of blessed memory who I never expected to go, I didn't know God was talking about my babies. After I decided to hear from him, he told me clearly in Isaiah 40 vs 31 that I should wait on him because he is going to do something new and better. He further assured me in Psalms 23 that he will prepare a 'six course meal, a banquet, a feast' for me if I agree and choose to stop holding on to the main dish I had.. He told me that the blessings coming to me is a generational one and not just something for me alone. Mehnnnn I was shocked, amazed and comforted that God knew how I felt and was interested in making me smile better again!! Those words were clearly stated to me and I held on from that moment and stood on his promises.. So this is me telling you that God still cares, still loves and is still interested in making you smile again. It might not be the same thing you lost but it will definitely be better if you trust in him. Believing gets hard when options are few or none, but there's a God who breaks protocols, who opens doors that were thought to be shut. God is still interested in you.. Give it time!!